Beerports?

So apparently Anheuser-Busch is seeking to trademark 42 of the three-letter airport codes used to identify airports.

No shit. Check it here —>http://beerpulse.com/2012/06/anheuser-busch-files-trademark-applications-for-42-airport-codes/

Why they’d want to trademark 42 airport codes is beyond me. Anyone else know? Anyone else care?

For your viewing pleasure, here are the 42 airports and their codes:

AGS (Augusta Regional Airport, Georgia)

ATL (Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, Georgia)

AUS (Austin-Bergstrom International Airport, Texas)

BHM (Birmingham-Shuttlesworth International Airport, Alabama)

BNA (Nashville International Airport, Tennessee)

BOS (Boston Logan International Airport, Massachusetts)

BWI (Baltimore-Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport, Maryland)

CMH (Port Columbus International Airport, Ohio)

CVG (Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport, Kentucky)

DCA (Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport, DC)

DEN (Denver International Airport, Colorado)

DFW (Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport, Texas)

DTW (Detroit Metropolitan Wayne County Airport, Michigan)

HOU (William P. Hobby Airport, Houston, Texas)

IAD (Washington Dulles International Airport, DC)

IAH (George Bush Intercontinental Airport, Houston, Texas)

JFK (John F. Kennedy International Airport, New York, NY)

LAS (McCarran International Airport, Las Vegas, Nevada)

LAX (Los Angeles International Airport, California)

LGA (LaGuardia Airport, New York, NY)

MCI (Kansas City International Airport, Missouri)

MCO (Orlando International Airport, Florida)

MDW (Chicago Midway International Airport, Illinois)

MEM (Memphis International Airport, Tennessee)

MIA (Miami International Airport, Florida)

MKE (General Mitchell International Airport, Milwaukee, Wisconsin)

MSP (Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport, Minnesota)

MSY (Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport, Louisiana)

OKC (Will Roders World Airport, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma)

ORD (Chicago O’Hare International Airport, Illinois)

ORL (Orlando Executive Airport, Florida)

PHX (Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport, Arizona)

PHL (Philadelphia International Airport, Pennsylvania)

RDU (Raleigh-Durham International Airport, North Carolina)

SAN (San Diego International Airport, California)

SAT (San Antonio International Airport, Texas)

SDF (Louisville International Airport, Kentucky)

SEA (Seattle-Tacoma International Airport, Washington)

SFO (San Francisco International Airport, California)

SMF (Sacramento International Airport, California)

SNA (John Wayne Airport, Orange County, California)

STL (Lambert-St. Louis International Airport, Missouri)

Ridiculous, eh?

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And on a totally random note. . .

So as I like to say, you can take the Sailor out of the Navy, but you can’t take the Navy out of the Sailor. It’s with this in mind that I check the Navy website religiously.

Back up a little: On my first deployment, I was assigned to a F-14 squadron that deployed with USS Constellation out of San Diego. (We were actually based in Virginia Beach) Our air wing had a chaplain, a fellow named Paul Tremblay. Nice guy, took his job seriously, loved the ministry, loved the Navy, actually I don’t think there was anything he DIDN’T love. Anyways, I always looked forward to crossing paths with him–which was all the time; I doubt he knew what a chair looked like because he was ALWAYS doing something. Anyways, as with most chaplains, the conversation was varied: religion, baseball, deployment, family, sodas, you name it. I knew a lot of great officers in the Navy but aside from one of my division officers none of them could hold a candle to Chaplain Tremblay in terms of personality and approachability–he cared more about the cross on his left collar, not the two silver bars on his right.

Fast forward to today. I read that Chaplain Tremblay has been selected for promotion to Commander in the Chaplain Corps. Wherever you are, sir, congratulations!

KHAAAAAAAN!

So for whatever reason I have William Shatner’s most famous line stuck in my head.

For y’all not familiar with anything Star Trek-related, in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, Captain (ahem, Admiral) Kirk finds himself marooned on a planet by the crazed, genetically enhanced madman Khan, trapped with an ex-lover (Dr. Carol Marcus), a son that hates him (Dr. David Marcus), a crotchety doctor (Dr. McCoy), a guy who speaks shitty Russian (Chekov), some random captain (Capt. Terrell of the Reliant), and zero contact with the outside world, or his beloved Enterprise. After Capt. Terrell decides to vaporize himself, rather than kill Kirk, and after McCoy, exercising admiral marksmanship, obliterates a worm sitting about three inches from Chekov’s head (that had just crawled out of his ear), our intrepid admiral grabs Terrell’s wristwatch/walkie-talkie thingy and begins a tirade against Khan, calling him a bloodsucker and telling him that if he wanted him dead, he’d have to come down to Hole In Rock and do it himself. Well, Khan decides he’s done worse, and declares his intention to blow a half-crippled Enterprise (rendered that way due to a sneak attack because they had no clue Khan had seized control of Reliant, which was far smaller than Enterprise) into pieces and leave him marooned on a useless planet, just like Kirk had done to him fifteen years earlier (see also Star Trek episode “Space Seed”).

Cue angry, distorted William Shatner face and the iconic scream which is the title of this post:

Priceless. Absolutely priceless. As a spoiler, Kirk makes it out, Enterprise gains the upper hand by swimming through some conveniently placed nebula, attacks Reliant, Khan dies, new planet forms (Khan detonated a planet-creating device), and Spock dies–setting the stage for Star Trek III.

Taking flight

I live near three airports: Louisville International (a bit of a misnomer, because the only international flights belong to UPS), Louisville Bowman Field, and Clark Regional. Two (Louisville Int’l and Bowman) are in Louisville and Clark Regional is up in my neck of the woods, Clark County, Indiana. Louisville Int’l–KSDF–handles the big planes, Bowman–KLOU–is a “puddle-jumper” joint situated in the worst location possible, and Clark Regional–KJVY–does general aviation (“GenAv”) and corporate flights.

Now I say all that to say this: I live under a Louisville International flight path, and drive past Clark Regional on the way to school.

And I say that to say this: Planes fascinate me. As if you didn’t already know.

I served seven years in the Navy, and worked around aircraft; thanks to a basic understanding of how planes operate coupled with random knowledge learned during my ill-fated pursuit of the Enlisted Air Warfare Specialist device, I know a thing or two about aircraft. I’m also addicted to Flight Simulator; in middle school, during an end of course project involving Sim City, the computer I was at woouldn’t load the game, so I got an automatic A and got to fly around all day while everyone else in class struggled to keep their cities afloat–and intact. I enjoy flying, despite the gauntlet you have to run just to even THINK about boarding a plane. It’s something about being around 35,000 feet in the air, looking down at the tiny dots on the ground and looking around at a perfect view of the stars. Aside from being in the middle of the ocean, being in the air is about as close to peaceful as I’ve gotten.

So it’s with all this in mind that earlier, I found myself sitting on my girlfriend’s back porch fielding questions about airplanes. Katie’s a lot like me; she just HAS to know how something works. So as we watched the planes circle around, hoping to be the next one to land at Louisville International, I got to impart some of what I know on her. It all started with a plane way the hell up there, probably 35, maybe 40 thousand feet. Where was it coming from? Where was it going? Judging from the distance, my guess was perhaps Topeka, maybe even Denver, on its way to maybe Charlotte, Norfolk, or even Baltimore. A little while later, another came by. My guess was that it was heading from Charlotte to Des Moines or the Dakotas. (Actually, using Google Earth I figured it probably left from Norfolk on its way to Kansas City)

Then I realized something: I didn’t have the airport in my scanner! I’m also a scanner freak; thank you very much, Uncle Mike, God rest your soul. The man had five scanners in his house–two in the living room, and one each in his bedroom, kitchen, and yes, bathroom. He also kept a portable in his car. Usually, having a portable scanner in your car is illegal as hell, but not for Uncle Mike: he was a former volunteer firefighter for one of the umpteen volunteer departments that serve the suburban sections of Louisville, which, because the volunteer departments get their money through special taxing disricts, didn’t merge with the Louisville Fire Department in the ’03 city-county merger. Anyways, Mike had all of the area fire departments in his scanner, except that the two in his living room were dedicated, one to Louisville/Jefferson County fire and the other to Clark County, Indiana fire.  So that’s where I get it from, except I’m a little more diverse–I have several police departments on m scanner, too, to keep tabs of what’s going on. I’m a criminal justice major, grandson and cousin of police officers, so it’s only right.

Long story short, I realized that I didn’t have any of the airport frequencies in my scanner. Fortunately, none of the airports have been affected by the transition from analog to digital communications; that’s mostly public safety. My scanner can hold 35,000 channels (I’d say Uncle Mike, eat your heart out, except he’s been dead almost ten years) so I went in and hit up my fourth favorite website, radioreference.com, and got those frequencies. On the way home, between snippets of the Jeffersonville Police searching for a possible drunk driver (they found her, fortunately), I got to enjoy listening to the Louisville air traffic control tower and the Indianapolis control center doing what it is they do.

And this has all helped me make up my mind about something. I’ve been wrestling with the idea of joining the Civil Air Patrol. My friend Eddie, who is president of my school’s Student Veteran Organization (I am his sergeant at arms) and a fellow senator in student government, just recently joined CAP; I joined the US Coast Guard Auxiliary a few months ago. I love the Auxiliary, but my work schedule has prevented me from doing anything with them. And CAP fits my interests better anyways. I think I’ll go to Tuesday’s meeting with Eddie and see what CAP’s all about.